About Marissa

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, MARISSA!


Today Marissa is 21 years old. Here are 21 things we love and admire about her.



1. She has a testimony. She would attend her meetings every Sunday even if we didn't.


2. She is goal oriented. She has her associate's degree, is attending SLCC, and will finish up her prereqs this summer to apply for the respiratory therapy program.





3. She volunteers at the Intermountain Medical Center every Thursday night and says it's the highlight of her week.


4. She works at Sizzler and pays for 100% of her school tuition and books.


5. She loves being the only daughter and is devoted to her brothers. She sent Eric monthly goodie packages while he served his mission and

continues to do that now that he's in the Air Force.


6. She loves to cook and could give Rachel Ray a run for her money.

7. She teaches Primary to the 7- and 8-year-olds and sings at their baptisms.






8. She is beautiful and has a knack for make-up and hair and loves to teach other girls how to do it. Her white-teethed smile is dazzling.


9. She loves babies and wants to help sick ones one day through her respiratory therapy training.


10. She speaks Spanish and loves to use it whenever she can, especially to talk with the cooks at work and with people at the hospital.


11. She is careful with her money and bought her own car without borrowing a dime.




12. She is a good friend and remembers birthdays and does special things for people.


13. She is always where she says she'll be and is dependable. She works hard and does well in school.


14. She is active and loves to ride her bike. She exercises almost every day on her NordicTrack that she bought.

15. She writes missionaries and sends them goodies.



16. She cuts her brothers' hair and saves us a ton of money.



17. She loves to help Gage come up with unique ways to ask girls to high school dances and reply to girls' choice dances. She's very creative.


18. She loves spending time with her family, especially her brothers. When they're together, you've never heard such laughter.


19. She's interested in things her brothers like. (She wants to get her concealed weapons permit!)

20. She loves movies and can quote funny lines complete with accents.



21. She cried over our failed adoption as much as we did.


WE LOVE YOU, MARISSA.

THANKS FOR SPREADING SUNSHINE IN OUR LIVES.

New pictures

I've put pictures up on the previous post if anyone's interested.

We're Home

Okay, I know I have to blog. I know there are people out there waiting for our news, and I need to document this so some happier day I can look back on this and think, "Heavenly Father had something else in mind for us." I 'm going to cry the whole time I'm typing, so I hope I can see through my tears.

Michael and I left for Ukraine very, very early Saturday morning and got back to SLC last night (Tuesday) at 9:00 p.m. Over the last four days, we've spent a total of 72 hours either in airports, airplanes, or vehicles. Both of us are physically tired and emotionally drained.

Natasha and Vladimir met us at the airport Sunday afternoon in Boryspil just outside of Kiev. We got in Vladimir's car (which had a big dent on the side from an accident the day before while he was driving the Kellers around) and traveled at break-neck speed for 3 1/2 hours to Kremenchuk. We talked to Natasha the whole time about all the different scenarios that might unfold once we arrived at the grandpa's house. Vladimir had searched out Nikolai's address (the grandfather), and when we got to the area, it was dark outside. Nobody had porch lights, and there were no street lights. The neighborhood was a ghetto, one of the worst I've seen during my sheltered life. Vladimir and Natasha got out of the car, and Natasha told us, "Don't get out of the car. This is a very bad neighborhood."

After a while, we heard voices and a rather loud conversation. (People get excited here when they talk; it doesn't mean they're angry.) Natasha came back and got us, and we walked up to the front door of the house. An elderly gentleman and a woman invited us in. This house gave new meaning to the word "shanty." Natasha interpreted; introductions were made. The elderly gentleman was Nikolai, Bogdan's step-grandfather, and the woman was Svetta, Bogdan's mother. There was another man there, but he was not introduced. We assume it was Svetta's boyfriend. Bogdan was not there; he was at the orphanage.

We all stood in the front room, which was about ten feet by fifteen feet; there was nowhere to sit down. The floor was cement, and the temperature inside was the same as outside.

I genuinely liked Nikolai and Svetta. There was no doubt in our minds that Svetta truly was Bogdan's mother. There was a strong resemblance to Bogdan, especially through the eyes. Michael and I were pretty quiet at first. We let Svetta do the talking. Her eyes immediately welled up with tears, and she cried as she talked. She told us she went into prison 5 1/2 years ago; Bogdan was six at the time; she was young and made mistakes; she was released from prison last November and had to get an apartment and a job before she could start paperwork to reinstate her parental rights; the process is well underway; she has been visiting Bogdan on Sundays for about a month.

She said Bogdan has told her about us, that he loves us very much, he had fun at our house, but now that she's back, he wants to be with her. She said he had decided to quit replying to our letters. She kept saying, "I am the mother," putting her hands over her heart. "I am the mother."

By this time Michael and I were both crying. We knew we could not ask Bogdan to choose between us and his mother. He chose us over his grandfather, but we knew that the love for his mother was strong, regardless of what his childhood was like. Svetta said Bogdan told her he has good memories of her and remembers being doted on by her.

I told Svetta that we were not there to break up their family; we had traveled halfway around the world to find out what Bogdan wanted and to see if he was all right. We told her we love Bogdan like our own son, we were glad he would have his own family now with his mother, that we hoped she would be able to take him out of the orphanage soon. Michael and I both had a hard time controlling our emotions.

I asked if we could be allowed to see Bogdan to tell him good-bye. She hesitated and said no, that it would be torture for Bogdan to tell us good-bye, that it would open up sad emotions for him. I had to agree with her. I knew it would be very painful to force Bogdan to tell us good-bye. Bogdan has told us in his letters (before his mother reappeared) that he cries often thinking of us. I didn't want to make it even more difficult by creating a memory in his mind of our good-bye scene.

We gave Svetta a picture album of Bogdan's visit to SLC and pictures of other families with their adopted children from Ukraine. We showed her our own children and told her a little about each one of them and the relationship they had with Bogdan. We gave Nikolai a blanket, which was a good choice on our part considering the temperature of his home. We gave Svetta a Utah Jazz shirt to give to Bogdan. She promised me she would take it to him the next day. I then hugged Svetta and Nikolai. Nikolai kissed me on the cheek and wished us a happy life and a safe journey home. He thanked us for wanting to bless the life of an orphan.

I gave the gifts Amy Arnold sent for her children. Svetta told me she would take them to the orphanage also. (Amy, your gift for Anya is with Natasha. We didn't get to see Anya.)

We took pictures and a short clip on our camera, and we were gone. We drove three and a half hours back to Kiev, and fell into bed about one a.m. It was the longest day of our lives.

The next day we got to see the Kellers, which was the ray of sun in our trip. It was nice to know they truly could say, "We know how you feel." We ate two meals with them (not all at once), shopped, saw a church, and visited and laughed in their apartment. It was nice to know I still knew how to laugh. If nothing ever comes of this journey by way of a child, Michael and I are so grateful we got to meet and know so many great and marvelous people. We love being with our fellow adoption families, and we hope the relationship will continue on even after the Ukraine trips are over.

We left at 3:00 a.m. Tuesday morning to catch our plane back home. We never did see the sun shining during our one day we were there. It rained/drizzled/snowed the whole time.

We don't know what is ahead for us. We both feel like we need a break from thinking about it, but we are finding that hard to do. If anybody out there has been in our shoes, we would welcome your suggestions. Maybe adoption is not in the plan for us. I guess time will tell.

We're Going to Ukraine . . .

But, sadly, not for our SDA appointment. That has been put on hold until D.L. tries to work some magic next month. No, the purpose of our visit is an attempt to soften hearts, try to make contact with Bogdan, and find out what the grandfather's position is and how he will try to influence Bogdan. We haven't heard from Bogdan since Anya was told to stop helping us. We have also learned that Bogdan's mother got out of prison in December. Oh, brother. Can the bad news stop now?

By the way, FYI, the grandpa is not a blood relative. We're unclear of the connection. We just know he potentially can influence Bogdan.

We attempted to call Bogdan's grandpa Sunday morning (with the help of J., our wonderful interpreter) and got the neighbors instead. I guess everyone shares a phone in the building or on that floor or something. It took us 20 minutes to finally get, "Oh, our neighbor is named Nikolai, and a boy named Bogdan from the orphanage comes there on Saturdays and Sundays." The neighbors were very patient and kind. They said Nikolai was not there, call back tomorrow, same time.

We did so, with Jordan's help again. Now the neighbor was not so kind, in fact very hostile. "Nikolai will not talk to you over the phone. If you want to talk to him, you will have to come here to talk to him. The mother got out of prison, and she will never allow you to adopt Bogdan." Click.

By the way, we don't know what the mother was in prison for, but there are records regarding her severe neglect of her children. That was being looked into at the time of her arrest and imprisonment. Bogdan told us he writes to his mother in prison, "But she has never written me back." I guess this is a classic example of, "I don't want him, but no one else can have him either."

So now we have to wonder: What does Bogdan want? We have no way to communicate with him. In my heart, I know he still wants to be adopted by us, but what have the grandfather and the director and the mother told Bogdan about us and about Americans? I only pray that he can remember how good things were when he was here.

Thank you to everyone for sending me pictures of your families and adopted children. I am going to show them to the "grandfather."

So, you see, we have no choice but to go and try to see Bogdan. How can I wonder forever if he was waiting for us to come and we never came? Please continue to keep us in your prayers. Our support group is wonderful.

The Most Terrible Week

I apologize for the title of this post, but I can't think of a more fitting title. Monday the 9th, I was on my way home from an early-morning job when I received a call on my cell from Michael saying Elliana had e-mailed saying not to buy our plane tickets, not to reschedule Michael's 3-day trial. Too late. Both had already been done. I buzzed over to Michael's office, and we phoned Yuri and Elliana, who told us what had happened to the K. family. Their children had been manipulated and pressured into saying no to being adopted! Once the children say no, it puts an end to it.

In shock, we said, "But Bogdan won't say no. We have upwards of 20 letters asking us when we're coming. He is a strong-willed little boy. He won't say no."

Yuri told us it doesn't matter, that the orphanage will find another way to block the adoption. By way of background, the regional woman over this orphanage is very anti-international adoption, pro-national adoption. She has been honored for keeping Ukrainian orphans in Ukraine. She has told the director of the Kremenchuk orphanage that if one more orphan leaves with an international family, he (the director) will be fired.

Yuri told us they would use other tactics to stop the adoption if Bogdan said yes, that someone working there at the orphanage like a cook or a nanny could be awarded guardianship and Bogdan would then be officially "unavailable" at the SDA level. We also heard the the last twenty or so attempted international adoptions had all failed except one, which happened to occur when the director was out of town.

So you can only imagine our emotional state the last five days. Then on top of it all, Friday morning we learned that our facilitator called Bogdan's grandpa and gleaned information that Bogdan's mother was released from prison in December and may be initiating paperwork to reinstate her parental rights!

It seems as though all hell has broken loose on our adoption. Save a Child Foundation has been so kind to us. We had a phone conference with many people, including D.L., who has a lot of contacts in high places in Ukraine. (Thanks for setting that up, D.H.) Save a Child Foundation has hired him (Mr. L.) to go to bat for us and the other Kremenchuk families, but he can't go to Ukraine for at least a month. We have placed a lot of hope in him.

So, we are postponing our SDA date for now. This decision came through much fasting and prayer. Michael and I both received the same answer to our pleas to Heavenly Father. We are rescheduling hopefully sometime in June to see what happens through Mr. L. We are so thankful to all of you out there who have prayed and fasted for us. The support has been amazing. We ask that you continue to pray for us, and we will continue to do so for your families. It will take nothing less than a miracle to bring these children home. How fitting that at the benefit concert last October, we all got up on stage and sang "There Can Be Miracles."

God be with the families leaving for Ukraine this next week. Our thoughts and prayers will be with you.

Annual Federation

Two Saturdays ago, Quinn competed in the annual Federation piano competition. 460 children participated. He received superior marks from all three of his judges. Later in the week, we were notified by his piano teacher, Evelyn Westwood, that he had been nominated to perform at Best of Federation. That really put the frosting on the cake! Out of the 460 participants, 42 were chosen to perform at Best of Federation. The woman in the picture is Quinn's piano teacher. She (and us) are so proud of Quinn.

News from Kremenchuk

We got news today about the adopting family that's already in Ukraine. The director at Kremenchuk is still having issues with these international adoptions. I am trying to be charitable and see things from his eyes. I guess too many international adoptions translates to a possible job loss for him. I'm not sure. I hate that we can't call Bogdan and tell him we're coming. Our only contact there at Kremenchuk is a woman that goes to these orphanages to organize pen pal groups. She works with some Americans from the Church of Christ. She is a native Ukrainian that speaks perfect English. We were communicating with Bogdan through her, but now she has been prohibited from speaking with the children who are going to be adopted internationally from Utah, so we have lost contact with Bogdan. I asked her if we could continue to send letters, and she told me she suspects any letters will be confiscated by the director. She said, "I worry about all these children. My only wish for them is that they all go to loving families." It's nice to know there are really good people out there who have the children's best interests at heart.

I've been thinking about Bogdan a lot today. He is totally in the dark about what we've done so far to bring him home. One of our fellow adopting friends said, "I don't think Bogdan actually can understand what is about to happen to him and how it will change his life so much for the better." I agree. I only hope I can live up to my responsibility and teach him what I consider to be the most important things in this life.

We got our SDA date.

Testing, testing, testing. Okay, so this is my first time posting something into my blog. So far this is pretty easy. I can do this. This will be the "no frills" blog out of the bunch, but at least it'll pass along information.

Here is an update on what's been happening the last couple days. When I got home from work Tuesday, I casually checked my e-mail and was shocked to have an e-mail from Elliana with our SDA date of March 23! That's eighteen days until we need to board a plane headed for Ukraine. I literally walked around my office in shock for about five minutes before I tried calling Michael. We had hoped to go anytime after April 4 because of Michael's work schedule. He has (or had) a three-day trial April 1, 2, and 3. Well, to make a long story short, he's worked like a fiend to get that trial and several other matters rescheduled, and we're keeping our SDA date! Yea!

So I am feeling a lot of stress trying to get things done that I thought I had a few more weeks to accomplish. I need to tell my office to leave me alone. Wouldn't you know it. Work gets busy when I need it to be slow. And it would have to be tax time. I still don't have some of my tax returns done.

But we are excited around here. We gave Quinn's (and Bogdan's) room a very hard cleaning today. I also got an itinerary from Eldon at Golden Rule for our flight. The first one he sent had a five-hour layover in Denver and an eleven-hour layover in Germany. What? I called him, and he worked out something a little better. Well, that's enough for my first post.

Thanks to all my new friends. I am actually amazed that people are asking for my blog address. It's nice to know I have friends out there.

Hello. This is the Lawrence Family Blog. Follow our adoption in Ukraine.