Tuesday, March 30, 2010

Part 2 of Today's Post

After three months' worth of convincing, Alex allowed Marisssa to cut his hair. Yipee! The mullet is gone!!! Doesn't he look American? Soccer ended, and everyone on the team got a trophy. Alex wants me to send this picture to Igor and Natasha so his friends at the orphanage can see his trophy. The picture was taken after church.
Zack's birthday was in March. Marissa threw him a surprise party in our basement. The laughter coming from downstairs was contagious.




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3 comments:

  1. JenMarch 30, 2010 at 1:51 PM

    He looks so sharp with his new haircut!

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  2. AndreasMarch 31, 2010 at 11:55 AM

    Agreed with Jen. Sharp looking boy. Tell him congrats on his trophy. And tell your other son to be careful. Mortars going off all around him?!! Do you have any nerves left?

    And congrats to your soon-to-be married kids.

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  3. CarlinApril 1, 2010 at 8:49 AM

    I'm learning it all from our therapist, I really didn't have an understanding of attachment disorder until we found our therapist. The things we are doing with Ana and Victor are the things I do with the therapist and Tanya. The hard part is figuring out what triggered the reaction, because they don't know either most of the time and it can be something silly like a look and it triggers something that happened in Ukraine or in their childhood and they act out or quit or misbehave or shut down. As long as there is trauma, neglect or fear in their past things can trigger them. They don't want to be bad, but like with our kids, they never learned how to express feelings or emotions and they never had a relationship with their mother. So they don't know how to have a parent child relationship, thus Victor will say No before we even finish a question. They feel they always have to be in control, they don't know how to give that up and deal with the fear it brings. So our kids each behave differently. Tanya shuts down, runs away, rocks, disappears into her head. Victor as you read quits, says No, gets defiant, says he can't. Ana is more physical hitting, pinching, yelling. Victor and Ana are much more mild than Tanya and can work through or forget things, sounds like you Alex where he is able to participate with the family again after a bit of time. But it will keep happening until they learn what is triggering the shut down, some of that make work its self out with time. But we are finding more and more we have to ask what were you thinking about when that happened, did you feel scared right then, etc. To kind of work though things, more and more it's things that remind them of Ukraine and we are able to talk about the experience. Tanya is just starting to talk to me so there is no way we could have helped her without our therapist, even our therapist thinks we are just seeing the tip of the ice berg....

    Sorry, I should have just emailed you. Just wanted to comment on your comment : )

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