Five-Week Mark

It has been a long time since I blogged, partly because I'm back at work and can't seem to find the time, partly because I have such mixed, confused feelings that I'm not sure what to blog about, and partly because my computer is a piece of junk and I can't download pictures right now. So I guess I will forget the pictures for now and just write.

Today is Sunday, January 31, and it's been about five weeks since we brought Alex home from Ukraine. I'm so glad the Save a Child moms are getting together in two days to eat lunch. I am way overdue for a big, long therapy session with other people feeling what I am. There are days when I feel encouraged and think, "Wow, we are really making progress," and there are other days when I feel very discouraged and think, "We are not making any progress at all." On those days, I try very hard to step back and put myself in Alex's place and try to envision what things must be like for him, and I know I can't even begin to imagine it.

Today we had another small melt-down. "Melt-down" means he quits talking, puts his head down, and covers his face with his hands. It can go on for hours or only a few minutes, but we have found it best to leave him alone when it happens. Today I told him it was time to read, and he said, "Oh, Mom," went downstairs, locked the door, and stayed. We later heard him go out the back door, and when we looked outside, he was laying on the tramp, curled up in a ball, with his hands over his face.

Here is another instance. Two Saturdays ago, it was time to go to dinner. We have been going out as a family every Saturday for dinner for the last 15 years. This night, Alex was in the middle of a melt-down. We went downstairs and told him to get in the car. He said, "Me no hungry. Me home." After ten minutes of coaxing, we simply turned off the bedroom light, and Michael physically moved him from the bed to the car. When we got to the restaurant, Alex wouldn't get out of the car and said, "Me car." Ten more minutes of coaxing, and Michael physically removed Alex from the car and took him into the restaurant. We spent the next hour eating, talking, and having fun with our whole family (except Eric), all the while Alex turned to the wall giving us the silent treatment and pouting like crazy. Usually after something like this happens, he is exceptionally good for a few days. It's like he realizes how babyish he was and wants to make amends, at least until the next time he has a melt-down.

But I have to admit, I think these episodes are getting less and less frequent, and when I look back over the last five weeks, I'm pretty sure we have made some progress. Here are a few things I feel encouraged about.
1. I no longer have to go downstairs several times a morning to get Alex out of bed to get ready for school.
2. Alex voluntarily showers every morning.
3. Sometimes Alex doesn't fight me when it's time to read.
4. Alex has made progress on his times tables, albeit slow progress.
5. Alex has never complained about going to church and stays the whole three hours.
6. Alex is quick to say, "I love you my family."
7. Alex now says family prayer and sometimes even asks to say it.
8. Alex reads the Book of Mormon with us. We take turns each reading one verse, and he reads from his Russian Book of Mormon when it's his turn.
9. Alex likes to hug (too much), but he's not needing it as much as he used to.
10. Alex is participating in soccer and likes it.

I know there are a lot more things I could write about, but ten will have to do for now.

I know I have a lot to learn, like more patience. I am trying to learn that every day. I want Alex to speak English right now, and sometimes I think to myself, "I can't believe you still don't know this word. We must have read this word a thousand times." I don't actually say it, but boy do I think it.

Anyway, I wanted to record my thoughts today so that in a month from now, I can look back and say, "We really are making progress."